whenever I would hear some tale of how someone's mother would stay by his bed all night when he was sick, i would always feel rather wistful. my mother never did. and many nights, sick in bed, i would wish so much for a parent to be there, near me, to maybe hold my hand or put their hand on my head. i didn't call... there was no reason to need a parent, really - i wasn't about to barf, i had water, i had crackers - but i felt very alone.

yesterday at dinner, my mom was talking about the night before, when i called my dad's cell phone at about midnight to ask him to bring me water and some chocolate milk because i was so thirsty but too sick to get out of bed. i was barely able to put together coherent sentences to tell him what i wanted. he was asking me if he could get me anything at all to eat, and saying i could call him any time all night and he would make me anything i wanted - i hadn't eaten all day that day except for a couple of ritz crackers and a little chocolate milk. i was a little amused by this - it was midnight, why would i want to eat? - but comforted by his concern.

"he felt so bad for you," my mother said. "he wanted to do something, anything for you. he wanted to sleep outside your door, like he did when you were little." i stared. "did you know that? he used to always take a pillow and blanket and sleep outside your door whenever you were sick. if you ever wondered how he got there so fast when you called, that's how. he'd be right outside your door."

there still remains the memory of the time that i did call, and he came, and i didn't want anything, just him to be there, and he didn't stay, and seemed to think i was being unreasonable to want him there for no reason. [and yet... maybe what i read as frustration at me, for calling when i didn't need him, was really frustration at himself for not having a way to help me? maybe, maybe not.]

but i wasn't alone. someone was there, near me, all the time.
i wish he'd slept on my floor, so i would have known it.

So, I have a question.

Which layout are you all seeing?  Because sometimes when I go to it, it shows the "Tropical" with colored stripes (an old one) and sometimes it shows the new one, which is a purple city skyline.

And does anyone recognize the skyline?  Or is it a hodgepodge of different ones?  I see something that looks like the CN tower...  (in which case the sailboat wouldn't be disconnected for me, because Toronto is a place I've sailed from.  Not that it goes with the color scheme...)

Edit: my profile pic is the Toronto skyline now.  So the skyline in the layout isn't Toronto, but there's one building that looks like one in NY... I'm thinking it's a hodgepodge.

Hey everyone,

Come read my new blog!

www.cinderannie.blogspot.com

 

It is lacking in comments right now... only my faithful Rad has commented on the past two posts.